Currently, the toddlers in this house have discovered a new pastime with those little fingers--turning the lights on and off. What's more, you just never know when the lights will turn out…it could be during a walk up the stairs at night with an armful of toys, laundry, shoes OR in the bathroom as you’ve stooped over to put toiletries underneath the bathroom sink and all of a sudden, it's completely dark. You just never know….'Tadah!’ the lights go out on you.
Oh, the joy Paige and Taylor have turning the lights on and off incessantly these days. It’s really very funny to watch how entertained these little girls are by a simple flip of a switch.
In other happenings, today, Paige started speech therapy at a nearby public elementary school in our district. (She is going to be seen by the school's speech pathologist once a week for one hour.) Paige turned 3 in December, and while she chatters and talks all day, many of her words are hard to understand. Paige was first seen by a speech pathologist for developmental delays in her speech right around the age of 2; and although we have seen improvements in Paige's overall speech and language since that time, she remains very difficult to understand particularly if you do not know the context of the conversation.
According to Paige's pediatrician as well as her previous speech pathologist, by the age of 3, most people should be able to understand the language and speech of a toddler. Paige's pediatrician commented that people should be able to understand about 50-75% of all speech and language of a 3-year old toddler. Well, Paige is now 3 and is still difficult to understand. In fact, there are many times when others will look to me for interpretation or explanation of what Paige is saying....Paige is frequently misunderstood by others. Sometimes, I can interpret and sometimes I cannot because even I have a hard time understanding Paige on occasion. Since my husband and I are generally the only ones who can understand what Paige is saying, we feel that it is important for Paige to continue receiving speech therapy, particularly as we begin to look ahead to her starting pre-school and later kindergarten.
Finally, potty training continues to go well. Taylor is using the "big girl" potty to pee-pee and poo-poo on a regular basis, although she is still not quite to the point where she is telling me in advance that she needs to go potty. She is also doing a great job at staying dry throughout the day in her "big girl panties" too. YAY!!! What's working for us at this point with Taylor is just making the "big girl" potty available and offering her lots of opportunities to go sit on the potty during the day and it's during those trips to the "big girl" potty that oila, we've had some success with Taylor using the potty. (We usually make a trip to the "big girl" potty during the day on the hour.) Taylor is always so proud of herself for being such a big girl and using the "big girl potty just like mommy." She loves being bragged on for each and every little toileting achievement.
Paige, on the other hand, is still a little reluctant to using the potty. Like, Taylor, she has had some good succcess on the potty but not to the consistency and frequency which Taylor has. I would describe it this way -- Paige enjoys tagging along with Taylor and mommy as we go into the bathroom and she will also sit on the "big girl" potty regularly alongside Taylor but Paige is "done" with the potty as soon as AND whenever her sister Taylor is "done" regardless of whether or not Paige has even done anything in the "big girl" potty or not.
Paige will get there eventually, but in the meantime, I continue to praise her for sitting on the "big girl" potty and usually, more times than not, I just end up saying something along the lines of, "Paige, great job for sitting on the 'big girl' potty...you can try again to go pee-pee and poo-poo next time you sit on the 'big girl' potty." Oh, and if you're wondering or asking yourself, "well, why not just make Paige continue to sit on the potty even after Taylor is done?" Well, ya' just don't know Paige...she is attached to the hip of her twin sister and if you try to make her stay on the potty after her older sister is "done" and off playing, you're going to find yourself faced with quite a battle from Paige. She is one strong-willed little tot. And, let me tell ya', a toilet-training power-struggle with Paige is something I'm just not going to take on...after all, it's just toileting and using the potty...all kids eventually get it when they're ready to get it.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
What Do You Think?
In California, and throughout the rest of the world, this story is the talk of the town this week - the story of a young woman who gave birth to a litter of octuplets in Los Angeles.
I am posting a series of reactions (below the fold) from the blogoshpere; and as I read through the various commentators remarks, I can’t help but find myself agreeing with those bloggers who say that, however much we may disagree with the choice that this woman has made given her socio-economic lot in life as well as her own personal lifestyle, enforcing limits on exactly how many children we should be allowed to have, has very disturbing, sinister connotations. I am referring specifically to the reports in the UK press this last week about moves to advise families to ‘stop at 2 children’…well, personally, as a mom of two children myself, I can’t see how that will or should be imposed on anyone else. I, for one, would like to have another child and don’t believe that it’s another person’s or government’s place to tell me when and how many children to have. That said, I do believe that we should all be encouraged to take personal responsibility for our decisions related to our families and our children and that is where I find myself puzzled by the young lady in Los Angeles who after already having six children sought out fertility treatments to net her eight more children.
I can’t help but find myself feeling that this mother is demonstrating a heightened selfishness and an all-out abdication of her personal and financial responsibility to rear and care for these children. The reports of the mother’s dependency upon the welfare system as well as her poor ol’ grandmother are especially troubling to me. Dependency upon the welfare system is not taking ownership of one’s personal responsibility.
While multiple pregnancies are fascinating and interesting to many an onlooker, the challenges that come with raising and caring for multiples shouldn’t be glossed over…from infant care issues to medical and financial challenges, the difficulties can be many!
One baby is a handful.
Twins can be seriously nuts…and, I’d know firsthand on that!
Triplets must be absolute, total insanity.
More than that is pretty hard to fathom.
Yes, babies are a blessing. But eight of them at once? That’s blessing overload. Eight is such a HUGE number, it’s comical. Except it’s not funny at all. Who’s going to take care of all those babies? The poor grandmother with whom the octuplets are presently living? Who’s going to pay for the wipes and the diapers? Newborns often leave their mark on as many as 10 diapers a day for the first three months…that’s 7,200 diapers in the first 90 days! Then, of course, there is the clothing and the car seats, not to mention the passenger van required to accommodate all those car seats? So, again I ask, who is going to care for these children and provide for all their needs? Who is going to feed them? And, how? Finally, since these eight babies were all preemies, who is going to care for their unique special needs? Preemies are far more precarious to care for than full-term babies, from their vulnerable immune systems to a whole host of other medical issues, particularly for the first few months of life...how will these preemies be assured of proper infant care, medical and healthcare? And, in the event that there are any long-term complications or health issues as a result of their premature birth, will these babies have the necessary early intervention services and proper medical care to help them?
Now I leave you to read for yourselves just some of the many commentators and bloggers’ reactions to the mother of six who just recently gave birth to eight more….
I covered medical ethics for years for this newspaper, and wrote abook on the subject, and while I have not directly heard this mother’s story nor that of any doctors involved, at the moment I cannot think of a scenario that would ethically allow the implantation of eight embryos in a woman who already had six children. Actually I can’t think of scenario that would allow the implementation of eight embryos ever. There is just too much risk here — to the mother, to the newborns, even to the emotional needs of the existing children. And we need not even get started on the expense.
Britgirl at Like It Is wroteOn Octuplets, Having 14 Kids and Other Stupidities of our Times.
No, what’s ridiculous is that this mother who is single, with the stability of the husband being in doubt (I’m not sure whether the husband referred to is the grandmother’s husband or the mother’s. A little confusing) is apparently without two brain cells to rub together is selfish and irresponsible, has apparently just declared bankruptcy, so… let’s see now, won’t have money, lives with her grandmother, so hasn’t got her own place
and…
has six OTHER children ranging from 7 to 2 years old…
…had fertility treatment. W.T.F?
Nechama Brodie at The Hunter Gatherer at The Times in South Africa wroteMother of octuplets already has six kids.
The birth of the multiples – the first time ever that all eight have survived (a previous set of octuplets, born ten years ago, lost one baby; seven survived) – has prompted wide debate over the use and abuse of fertility treatment, and whether or not it is ethical to allow a woman to carry so many foetuses. I can’t help but think, in this “reality TV” world we live in, people are desparate to become “celebrities”.
Caltechgirl at Not Exactly Rocket Science wroteKeep your laws off my octuplets!
You can't have it both ways, either people get to choose the family they want, or they don't. And if they don't, who makes the rules? Based on what?
Darragh at This is what I do wroteMother of octuplets has six other children.
I can only imagine what this woman must be thinking or planning. Of course in the back of my mind the Kilkenny man is thinking "All she needs now is one more for a hurling team."
Deanna at Deanna's Ramblings wroteOctuplets Make Fourteen.
As I said, I get the want and need to have a child. But what’s the point where more is too much? What’s the point when the problems outweight the benefits? I really don’t know what the answer is. But this situation strikes me as unhealthy.
Meagan Francis wroteoctuplet opinions.
But the truth is, I haven’t been able to muster up much of an opinion on this at all. It’s just too bizarre, with too many unanswered questions. First of all, I don’t feel like it is really a story about big families at all. It’s more a story about medical technology and the ethics of using it.
Karla at Baby G's From the Start wroteDid You Hear About the Octuplets?
So, I do think it is a little wild that a women who already has 6 kids at home, is bringing home another 8....and is going to have the time and supply to breastfeed them all. It kind-of makes my situation seem like a breeze. I mean if she can do that, how could triplets be a challenge? I assure you my friends, it is a challenge. 14 kids seems downright impossible. Especially if 8 are preemies, which carry many challenges alone.
UPDATE:As a couple commenters have noted, there are serious moral questions about how this was done. And I have to add: there's something just plain peculiar about this whole thing. A woman with six children (including a set of twins) has IVF to have more, knowing full-well she could have a lot more...and she may not even be married? It's...odd. To say the least.
Monica Mingo at Rantings of a Creole Princess wroteSingle Mother of 6 + Fertility Drugs + Octuplets = Single Mother of 14.
I don't quite know what to make of this.
Initially I'm like...is it anyone's business if she has 14 children?
Then I'm wondering...if she already has 6...why would she want more if she's a single mother?
Dr. Amy Tuteur of The Skeptical OB wroteWho helped a mother of six conceive octuplets?
Something does not add up here. A young, presumably unmarried woman, living at home with her parents, who already has 6 children is exceedingly unlikely to be diagnosed with infertility, is unlikely to be treated for infertility even if she is having difficulty getting pregnant, could not have had 8 embryos placed in her uterus by in-vitro fertilization and would almost certainly be counseled to avoid intercourse in any cycle where 8 follicles were developing. Add to that the fact that the woman showed up for care already pregnant with octuplets and suspicions are raised that this pregnancy was conceived in a deliberate effort to have a spectacular outcome, including any publicity and money it might generate.
I am posting a series of reactions (below the fold) from the blogoshpere; and as I read through the various commentators remarks, I can’t help but find myself agreeing with those bloggers who say that, however much we may disagree with the choice that this woman has made given her socio-economic lot in life as well as her own personal lifestyle, enforcing limits on exactly how many children we should be allowed to have, has very disturbing, sinister connotations. I am referring specifically to the reports in the UK press this last week about moves to advise families to ‘stop at 2 children’…well, personally, as a mom of two children myself, I can’t see how that will or should be imposed on anyone else. I, for one, would like to have another child and don’t believe that it’s another person’s or government’s place to tell me when and how many children to have. That said, I do believe that we should all be encouraged to take personal responsibility for our decisions related to our families and our children and that is where I find myself puzzled by the young lady in Los Angeles who after already having six children sought out fertility treatments to net her eight more children.
I can’t help but find myself feeling that this mother is demonstrating a heightened selfishness and an all-out abdication of her personal and financial responsibility to rear and care for these children. The reports of the mother’s dependency upon the welfare system as well as her poor ol’ grandmother are especially troubling to me. Dependency upon the welfare system is not taking ownership of one’s personal responsibility.
While multiple pregnancies are fascinating and interesting to many an onlooker, the challenges that come with raising and caring for multiples shouldn’t be glossed over…from infant care issues to medical and financial challenges, the difficulties can be many!
One baby is a handful.
Twins can be seriously nuts…and, I’d know firsthand on that!
Triplets must be absolute, total insanity.
More than that is pretty hard to fathom.
Yes, babies are a blessing. But eight of them at once? That’s blessing overload. Eight is such a HUGE number, it’s comical. Except it’s not funny at all. Who’s going to take care of all those babies? The poor grandmother with whom the octuplets are presently living? Who’s going to pay for the wipes and the diapers? Newborns often leave their mark on as many as 10 diapers a day for the first three months…that’s 7,200 diapers in the first 90 days! Then, of course, there is the clothing and the car seats, not to mention the passenger van required to accommodate all those car seats? So, again I ask, who is going to care for these children and provide for all their needs? Who is going to feed them? And, how? Finally, since these eight babies were all preemies, who is going to care for their unique special needs? Preemies are far more precarious to care for than full-term babies, from their vulnerable immune systems to a whole host of other medical issues, particularly for the first few months of life...how will these preemies be assured of proper infant care, medical and healthcare? And, in the event that there are any long-term complications or health issues as a result of their premature birth, will these babies have the necessary early intervention services and proper medical care to help them?
Now I leave you to read for yourselves just some of the many commentators and bloggers’ reactions to the mother of six who just recently gave birth to eight more….
- Reactions From the Blogoshpere -
I covered medical ethics for years for this newspaper, and wrote a
Britgirl at Like It Is wrote
No, what’s ridiculous is that this mother who is single, with the stability of the husband being in doubt (I’m not sure whether the husband referred to is the grandmother’s husband or the mother’s. A little confusing) is apparently without two brain cells to rub together is selfish and irresponsible, has apparently just declared bankruptcy, so… let’s see now, won’t have money, lives with her grandmother, so hasn’t got her own place
and…
has six OTHER children ranging from 7 to 2 years old…
…had fertility treatment. W.T.F?
Nechama Brodie at The Hunter Gatherer at The Times in South Africa wrote
The birth of the multiples – the first time ever that all eight have survived (a previous set of octuplets, born ten years ago, lost one baby; seven survived) – has prompted wide debate over the use and abuse of fertility treatment, and whether or not it is ethical to allow a woman to carry so many foetuses. I can’t help but think, in this “reality TV” world we live in, people are desparate to become “celebrities”.
Caltechgirl at Not Exactly Rocket Science wrote
You can't have it both ways, either people get to choose the family they want, or they don't. And if they don't, who makes the rules? Based on what?
Darragh at This is what I do wrote
I can only imagine what this woman must be thinking or planning. Of course in the back of my mind the Kilkenny man is thinking "All she needs now is one more for a hurling team."
Deanna at Deanna's Ramblings wrote
As I said, I get the want and need to have a child. But what’s the point where more is too much? What’s the point when the problems outweight the benefits? I really don’t know what the answer is. But this situation strikes me as unhealthy.
Meagan Francis wrote
But the truth is, I haven’t been able to muster up much of an opinion on this at all. It’s just too bizarre, with too many unanswered questions. First of all, I don’t feel like it is really a story about big families at all. It’s more a story about medical technology and the ethics of using it.
Karla at Baby G's From the Start wrote
So, I do think it is a little wild that a women who already has 6 kids at home, is bringing home another 8....and is going to have the time and supply to breastfeed them all. It kind-of makes my situation seem like a breeze. I mean if she can do that, how could triplets be a challenge? I assure you my friends, it is a challenge. 14 kids seems downright impossible. Especially if 8 are preemies, which carry many challenges alone.
UPDATE:As a couple commenters have noted, there are serious moral questions about how this was done. And I have to add: there's something just plain peculiar about this whole thing. A woman with six children (including a set of twins) has IVF to have more, knowing full-well she could have a lot more...and she may not even be married? It's...odd. To say the least.
Monica Mingo at Rantings of a Creole Princess wrote
I don't quite know what to make of this.
Initially I'm like...is it anyone's business if she has 14 children?
Then I'm wondering...if she already has 6...why would she want more if she's a single mother?
But again...is it anyone's business?
I guess the fact that she's a single mother of 6 already makes one question her choice of taking the fertility drugs right?
Should people be up in arms thinking about her receiving welfare for these children? Should the factor that the welfare she would receive not be enough to cover the basics be taken into consideration?
Should someone even GET welfare for a child they had by taking infertility drugs?????????
THIS ONE IS ALL OVER THE PLACE!
I guess the fact that she's a single mother of 6 already makes one question her choice of taking the fertility drugs right?
Should people be up in arms thinking about her receiving welfare for these children? Should the factor that the welfare she would receive not be enough to cover the basics be taken into consideration?
Should someone even GET welfare for a child they had by taking infertility drugs?????????
THIS ONE IS ALL OVER THE PLACE!
Dr. Amy Tuteur of The Skeptical OB wrote
Something does not add up here. A young, presumably unmarried woman, living at home with her parents, who already has 6 children is exceedingly unlikely to be diagnosed with infertility, is unlikely to be treated for infertility even if she is having difficulty getting pregnant, could not have had 8 embryos placed in her uterus by in-vitro fertilization and would almost certainly be counseled to avoid intercourse in any cycle where 8 follicles were developing. Add to that the fact that the woman showed up for care already pregnant with octuplets and suspicions are raised that this pregnancy was conceived in a deliberate effort to have a spectacular outcome, including any publicity and money it might generate.
Now it's your turn. Well, what do you think?
Monday, February 2, 2009
Fun in the Sun
Sunny skies and warm temperatures over the weekend allowed the twins to get some much-needed playtime outside...I snapped a few pictures as Taylor and Paige were enjoying the fresh air. The nice weather continues today and I am absolutely loving a taste of Spring in February!
Saturday, January 31, 2009
What the #@!^....California to Offer IOUs to Taxpayers
Rats! My husband and I were soooooo looking forward to a nice return from our California State taxes, especially since our family has probably overpaid our state taxes deducted throughout 2008. The article that I'm posting below is a pretty interesting read. In fact, if it weren't so sad and disturbing that the California state government needs IOUs from us taxpayers, I would actually find all this very funny but since our family is one of those taxpaying families who will probably just get an IOU, it's not so funny at all....
The article below was written online by an author who identifies himself only as "Rob".
# # # #
California So Bankrupt Tax Refunds Are Being Delayed
By "Rob" , Posted at Say Anything Blog http://sayanythingblog.com/entry/california_so_bankrupt_tax_refunds_are_being_delayed/
This advice is too late for 2008, but in the coming year Californians may want to make sure they’re not overpaying on their taxes lest the government just keep the money. Something that would be deemed “theft” in the private sector.
But in this instance it’s the government, so it's ok. By the way, if you were expecting a welfare check from the State of California you’re out of luck too. Those are being delayed as well.
The controller said the suspended payments could be rolled into IOUs if California still lacked sufficient cash to pay its bills come March or April.
“I take this action with great reluctance,” Chiang said at a news conference in his office. But he said that without action to close the deficit, “there is no way to make it through February unscathed.”
IOU’s? Really?
I’m reminded of a scene from a familiar movie Dumb & Dumber where Jim Carey touts his famous empty suitcase of money. Click here to watch it now:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7GSXbgfKFWg&eurl=http://sayanythingblog.com/entry/california_so_bankrupt_tax_refunds_are_being_delayed/&feature=player_embedded
What’s amazing is that these tax refunds do not belong to the government. I know over the years we’ve all gotten used to the tax-and-refund shell game the government plays to confuse the issue of how much we really pay in taxes, and many have started to think of those refunds as money the government is giving them (exactly what they want us to think), but that money still doesn’t belong to the government.
What’s even more amazing is that nobody in California seems to be talking about a downsizing of government as a way to alleviate this budgeting disaster. Instead, California is lining up at the federal trough with a number of other states and demanding a big, fat bailout.
I think the California government should be left in the wind. And if that’s detrimental to Californians who want their tax refunds or welfare checks…well…too bad. They voted for these jerks and idiots. Let them unelect them and replace them with leaders who can control spending and balance a budget.
Bailing out the state would only serve to prop up the sort of foolishness that led to this debacle in the first place.
# # # #
Friday, January 30, 2009
Why I Love Twins
Why I love twins…there are so very many reasons to love!
Sometimes it's hard to remember all the reasons I love being a twin mom when my twin toddlers are on a major hurricane rampage all day or are pestering one another for a much-prized toy or doll. Sometimes it’s hard to remember when, say I haven’t had my morning coffee yet and both kids are trying to out-scream each other...
Best thing I remember - and realize - is that they will grow up. Too fast! From the time Paige and Taylor came home from the NICU until now, our whole world has been upside down, messier, with everything revolving around diapers, feedings, big girl pottys, toys, crying, fussing, and the list goes on and on and on.
And then I blink and here they are these little kids - not babies anymore – but toddlers and things have begun to settle down in a big way. I can now take a deep breath and am no longer stressing over the little things that can and will go wrong on a daily basis as when they were little babies just home from the NICU, especially since my twins were preemies with special needs ranging from extremely tedious feedings around the clock to 16 months later the discovery of cerebral palsy with one of the twins leading us to participate in an intensive, rigorous regimen of at-home and in-clinic physical therapy for Taylor.
Whenever I run into a new mom of twins, whether it be at the mall, the grocery store, even church, she and I instantly have this “bond” simply because of our experience as multiples mommies. If it’s a new mom to twin infants, and we strike up a conversation, I find it so strange to be on the end of the conversation where I am giving words of encouragement and advice because after all it wasn’t long ago that I was tending to twin babies myself, always overly exhausted from the rigorous daily routine of caring for twin babies. I find myself now saying the very things that I was told by other twin mommies when I was caring for twin newborns: "Try to focus on the positive and remember that it gets easier!" (I usually leave out the part that it doesn’t really get that much easier until the twins are about 18-24 months old however because after all when your twins are just a few weeks old, the thought of keeping up the pace you’re keeping for another 1-1/2 to 2 years would be quite daunting)
Back to what I love about being a twin mom…my husband and I have become a really good tag team! After raising twins, I have found that we have become like a well-oiled machine. I have tested this theory against some of my single-baby mom friends and it seems that their husbands are far less hands-on, whether they have one, two, three, four children or even more. With twins, husbands don’t have much of a choice but to play a much greater role in feeding them, changing diapers and generally just are more a part of the children’s lives, simply through sheer necessity!!!! I’m lucky I’ve had a great husband and partner in this twin parenting journey.
I think I’ve also had to become very creative in my approach to parenting. As a result of having twins, I’ve learned to be more patient, more organized, more able to plan ahead for anything to go wrong, have a great sense of humor (usually) and definitely much better balance (sweeping up twins continuously from birth and feeding and carrying them at the same time makes a person very agile very quickly). Again, these are things that I think having twins teaches a parent – there are generally going to be times in life when things are just slightly out of control, and having made it through the early infant years – I can now look back on the first two years of my life with twins and see all that my husband and I have accomplished! Our little family of 4 has learned to work together to cope with everything as a unit, an instantly larger family, and somehow that makes us feel unique and special. I also have found more support than I could have ever imagined from other friends who have raised multiples as well; and time and time again, I have found them to always give awesome advice for nearly every multiples milestones from juggling dual feedings to dual potty-training endeavors, etc. Their advice has seemingly always been just right!
Why I LOVE Twins – Here are Some More Positive Generalizations About Twins
I have found Paige and Taylor to be confident, very supportive of each other, creative in their play together and very friendly and outgoing (even to strangers…they never did have that infamous “stranger anxiety” many children do)
Paige and Taylor have also never known loneliness. They have learned to share, wait, take turns, care for, empathize with, play with, fight with and support each other since birth. Granted, lately, there is a lot more fighting with each other, but hey, best friends are prone to do that from time to time.
Now that Paige and Taylor are 3 years old, surprisingly this gives me more freedom like I haven’t had prior to this time in my life with twins. The girls wake each other in the morning, keep each other in check with the “rules”, eat together, and generally between the 2 of them are actually staying out of trouble. Well, most of the time anyways. They always have a playmate so they are not so dependent on mommy or daddy keeping them busy or entertained. In fact, it has actually freed up my time enough in order to build this website! Speaking of this web site - that's become a HUGE positive in my life because I use this site primarily to journal and record my life with my sweet daughters and to record the memories of our lives before I forget them all…occasionally I do get off track and venture into other subjects on this site, but hey my life and thoughts aren’t ALWAYS twin-focused.
So, the raising of our twins…as they have grown, things have also grown easier. Things have finally settled down to feel “normal”. Paige and Taylor truly are a double-blessing and I’m so happy God blessed us with twins! What an awesome experience it has been and will continue to be.
Sometimes it's hard to remember all the reasons I love being a twin mom when my twin toddlers are on a major hurricane rampage all day or are pestering one another for a much-prized toy or doll. Sometimes it’s hard to remember when, say I haven’t had my morning coffee yet and both kids are trying to out-scream each other...
Best thing I remember - and realize - is that they will grow up. Too fast! From the time Paige and Taylor came home from the NICU until now, our whole world has been upside down, messier, with everything revolving around diapers, feedings, big girl pottys, toys, crying, fussing, and the list goes on and on and on.
And then I blink and here they are these little kids - not babies anymore – but toddlers and things have begun to settle down in a big way. I can now take a deep breath and am no longer stressing over the little things that can and will go wrong on a daily basis as when they were little babies just home from the NICU, especially since my twins were preemies with special needs ranging from extremely tedious feedings around the clock to 16 months later the discovery of cerebral palsy with one of the twins leading us to participate in an intensive, rigorous regimen of at-home and in-clinic physical therapy for Taylor.
Whenever I run into a new mom of twins, whether it be at the mall, the grocery store, even church, she and I instantly have this “bond” simply because of our experience as multiples mommies. If it’s a new mom to twin infants, and we strike up a conversation, I find it so strange to be on the end of the conversation where I am giving words of encouragement and advice because after all it wasn’t long ago that I was tending to twin babies myself, always overly exhausted from the rigorous daily routine of caring for twin babies. I find myself now saying the very things that I was told by other twin mommies when I was caring for twin newborns: "Try to focus on the positive and remember that it gets easier!" (I usually leave out the part that it doesn’t really get that much easier until the twins are about 18-24 months old however because after all when your twins are just a few weeks old, the thought of keeping up the pace you’re keeping for another 1-1/2 to 2 years would be quite daunting)
Back to what I love about being a twin mom…my husband and I have become a really good tag team! After raising twins, I have found that we have become like a well-oiled machine. I have tested this theory against some of my single-baby mom friends and it seems that their husbands are far less hands-on, whether they have one, two, three, four children or even more. With twins, husbands don’t have much of a choice but to play a much greater role in feeding them, changing diapers and generally just are more a part of the children’s lives, simply through sheer necessity!!!! I’m lucky I’ve had a great husband and partner in this twin parenting journey.
I think I’ve also had to become very creative in my approach to parenting. As a result of having twins, I’ve learned to be more patient, more organized, more able to plan ahead for anything to go wrong, have a great sense of humor (usually) and definitely much better balance (sweeping up twins continuously from birth and feeding and carrying them at the same time makes a person very agile very quickly). Again, these are things that I think having twins teaches a parent – there are generally going to be times in life when things are just slightly out of control, and having made it through the early infant years – I can now look back on the first two years of my life with twins and see all that my husband and I have accomplished! Our little family of 4 has learned to work together to cope with everything as a unit, an instantly larger family, and somehow that makes us feel unique and special. I also have found more support than I could have ever imagined from other friends who have raised multiples as well; and time and time again, I have found them to always give awesome advice for nearly every multiples milestones from juggling dual feedings to dual potty-training endeavors, etc. Their advice has seemingly always been just right!
Why I LOVE Twins – Here are Some More Positive Generalizations About Twins
I have found Paige and Taylor to be confident, very supportive of each other, creative in their play together and very friendly and outgoing (even to strangers…they never did have that infamous “stranger anxiety” many children do)
Paige and Taylor have also never known loneliness. They have learned to share, wait, take turns, care for, empathize with, play with, fight with and support each other since birth. Granted, lately, there is a lot more fighting with each other, but hey, best friends are prone to do that from time to time.
Now that Paige and Taylor are 3 years old, surprisingly this gives me more freedom like I haven’t had prior to this time in my life with twins. The girls wake each other in the morning, keep each other in check with the “rules”, eat together, and generally between the 2 of them are actually staying out of trouble. Well, most of the time anyways. They always have a playmate so they are not so dependent on mommy or daddy keeping them busy or entertained. In fact, it has actually freed up my time enough in order to build this website! Speaking of this web site - that's become a HUGE positive in my life because I use this site primarily to journal and record my life with my sweet daughters and to record the memories of our lives before I forget them all…occasionally I do get off track and venture into other subjects on this site, but hey my life and thoughts aren’t ALWAYS twin-focused.
So, the raising of our twins…as they have grown, things have also grown easier. Things have finally settled down to feel “normal”. Paige and Taylor truly are a double-blessing and I’m so happy God blessed us with twins! What an awesome experience it has been and will continue to be.
What's Wrong with California?
What's wrong with California? That question is both literal and rhetorical. I happened upon an interesting book this week and perhaps you've heard of it: "What's The Matter with California?" by Jack Cashill.
It's a question I've asked myself many, many times (too many times actually) since moving to California 7 years ago so naturally, the book's catchy title struck a definite chord with me.
It is interesting though isn't it?! The country's most dysfunctional state. I never thought of California in just those terms, but that description does give me a moment of pause...and, I have a feeling I'm going to like this book!
P.S. Obviously, the book has absolutely nothing to do with twins and zilch to do with childrearing making it yet another reason that I'll likely enjoy the book. Ah, yes, an escape into a genre not dealing with kids and/or parenting...how nice this read will be!
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
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