Okay, so we're learning that our once oh-so-easy bedtime routines with Paige and Taylor are now a thing of the past. Long gone are the days where they would be in bed AND ASLEEP at 8:00 PM each night. Oh, we still aim for an 8:00-ish bedtime, but these days, going to bed around 8:00 still means that the twins are still awake sometimes as late as 10:30 or 11:00 PM, only to then be up again at 7:00 AM the next morning. Oh, yes, remember the days where they would sleep from 7:00/8:00 PM until 7:00 AM the next morning? Well, you can forget about it these days.
Here's why: The built-in playmate and entertainment factor that they provide each other. Let's face it, for twins who share the same room, every night is like a slumber party with your best friend in your room. You are drawn in by each other's energy, you distract each other, you play together, you sing and talk with each other and the fun from the entire day just carries over to bedtime.
In spite of our best winding-down bedtime routine every night - dinner/snack, warm bath, soft pajamas, storytime at their beds, cuddling and prayers - as soon as mommy or daddy informs them, "it's bedtime" and the lights go out and the nightlights come on, the bedtime difficulties begin. It's in/out of the beds, it's putting their stuffed animals (all of them) in each other's beds, it's playing drums (banging) on the walls, it's in/out of their beds to turn their bedroom lights on, it's pulling on the window blinds and clacking them against the glass panes, then it transitions to mommy or daddy coming in/out of their room with reminders to get back to bed, to stop banging on the wall, to stop turning the lights on, to stop pulling on the window blinds, and on and on. Some nights, the temptation to have the girls in separate bedrooms is almost too hard to resist. I have a couple of friends with twins who have separated their twins and given each of them their own bedroom saying that it's the only way their twins will ever go to sleep at a reasonable time. I have other friends with twins who just let the twins keep playing in their rooms until they fall asleep on their own which usually ends up being on the floor or in their sibling's bed.
For us, I don't think separate bedrooms is in order (not yet anyways). I think it would be just too devastating for them - after all, they're so used to being with each other 24/7, they wouldn't understand the separation at night. Maybe when they're a little older, but not at 3-1/2 years old...
Here are some other strategies that I use, thinking that it will help with settling down at bedtime: I make sure they get lots of activity during the day in the hopes that they'll be worn out come bedtime. Today, for example, we went to the park TWICE - once this morning and then again this afternoon before dinner. I also have nixed naptimes during the day thinking that if we cut back on the amount of sleep they get during the daytime, they'll be more ready for bed if they've not been over-rested during the day. These kinds of strategies work for my "singleton" child friends. Ahhhh, but alas, not always with twins as I'm learning. Again, thanks to the built-in playmate and entertainment factor that just continues at bedtime and complicates the winding-down process.
As I write this post, I just took a time-out to check on the twins, and funny thing, as I did a quick sneak-peek of the girls from outside their bedroom door, they are currently nestled in the same bed together. The lights are still out (YES! that's progress) and for the most part, they're quiet (YES! that's progress too). By the looks of it, they may just nod off to sleep side by side in the same bed! And, you know what, I'd be okay with that because mommy and daddy are pretty tuckered out by the end of the day and neither of us have the energy or inclination right now to insist on a rigid bedtime and/or insist on no tomfoolery at bedtime. We tried those "battles", and in the grand scheme of things, it's just not that important at 3-1/2 years old. So, tonight, if they want to fall asleep together in the same bed, it won't surprise me at all, and I'm fine with it. I'll just slip in later and put each of them in their own bed after they've both fallen asleep because if I've learned anything about parenting twins, it's that all the best practices and all the best bedtime strategies meet their match when it comes to twins. The built-in playmate and entertainment factor will win out every time so sometimes you just gotta' roll with it.
