As a Christian, it’s really easy to find myself asking: “Where was God, where was He when these little children needed Him? Why would He allow this kind of suffering to happen? Why would God create little ones to suffer?”
It’s very easy to get cynical, to get angry, to get disheartened.
Then, I am reminded that God loves each of them for exactly who they are and as they are and that no matter how desperate or dire their circumstance may be, God created them. As a Christian, I know God makes all things to be beautiful! At the same time however, in my own limited human understanding, I do still ask “Why that child? Why that family? Why are some children affected with certain special needs while others are not? Were their prayers better or different than ours? Did they deserve it more or less than we did? Did we not pray enough, believe enough? What? In the world of special needs children and families, what is the answer to each special needs child’s circumstance? And, God, how did you choose the families that would be given a special needs child and why?"
I could deliberate and mull over these kinds of questions over and over again, especially since I find myself part of a community of parents whereby I see, on a regular basis, a community of children and families doing their best to manage their child’s disabilities. It is no easy road to travel and time and time again, in my brief couple of years of parenting, I've seen the toll it takes on many a family in a variety of ways.
In the end though, you know what…God answers my questions each and every time I ask Him. Here is what I seem to hear Him say to me. Here is how I have come to look at these situations, for my own sanity. I’m sure other special needs parents have learned to do the same in their own way....
Some children are much sicker than others. Some children are afflicted with conditions that improve over time or change over time - sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. What is going to happen, is going to happen. God is not up there, picking and choosing who will get well and who won’t. God is not up there saying, hmmm, those are really good prayers from those parents, so I think I’ll spare that family, that child of a disability or other special need, but not that other one, forget about it – his/her parents aren’t doing such and such. I don't believe God works that way.
Instead, I think of God much like I do my own parents. They want to fix everything but they can’t because this life isn't perfect and sometimes, life just isn’t fair. So when something happens that’s awful or difficult, they are there for you, they help you through day by day. For me, God is the same way. God is the one who helps keep us going. He is there when we think we are all alone. He is the one giving us the strength we didn't know we had. My children, Taylor and Paige, have each had their set of special needs to contend with; and they were given to us for a reason, just as they are. We love them just as they are. And, God has helped us reach that peace in our lives and continues to do so…some days have been a real struggle but most days have been a real blessing!
Not too long ago, I came across a simple, little prayer, and it sums up God to me as a parent.
"BE AT PEACE"
by Saint Francis de Sales
Do not look forward in fear to the changes in life;
rather, look to them with full hope that as they arise,
God will lead you safely through all things;
and when you cannot stand it, God will carry you in His arms.
Do not fear what may happen tomorrow;
the same understanding Father who cares for you today
will take care of you tomorrow and every day.
He will either shield you from suffering or will give you the unfailing strength to bear it.
Be at peace then, and put aside all anxious thoughts and imaginations.
That is it. What is going to happen, is going to happen. Try not to worry about it. You will get through it.... you will have the 'UNFAILING STRENGTH TO BEAR IT'. You will. So enjoy today, live life, love life. Be at peace.I know, much, much, much easier said than done. But we keep trying. I am. Still. I guess forever will be.
