The 10 Commandments for Parents of Special Needs Kids

Just the other day, I came across what I'll refer to as the "10 Commandments" for parents of special needs kids...since some of the readers of Twinsanity are personal friends and acquaintances of mine who I also know wrestle with the daily struggles and challenges of raising a child with special needs, I wanted to post these "10 Commandments" on the blog as a simple reminder to all of us parents of special needs kids that while our days are hectic, our demands many and our schedules chock-full of doctor appointments, a myriad of therapy appointments for our child and the like, we have the unique privilege of raising one of God's blessings.

In fact, one friend of mine sums it up nicely stating that, "God only gives children with special needs to those parents He knows can truly handle it and who will help these children thrive....it takes a special parent to raise a special child."

10 COMMANDMENTS FOR PARENTS OF SPECIAL NEEDS KIDS
- Author Unknown

1. Take one day at a time, and take that day positively. You don't have control over the future, but you do have control over today.

2. Never underestimate your child's potential. Allow her, encourage her, expect her to develop to the best of her abilities.

3. Find and celebrate positive mentors: other parents, friends and professionals who can share with you their experience, advice, and support having walked in your shoes as a special needs parent or advocate.

Personally, I have found this to be one of the most important components to helping me raise a child with special needs. I have become friends with many of Taylor's physical therapists....I respect their advice and their wisdom as well as their experience and have found great comfort and strength in their friendship! I have also met a good number of other mothers who, while their child may have a different special need to contend with, share a very common language and experience in the joys and challenges of parenting a special needs child that I do. That commonality and our shared experiences raising a child with special needs is simply unmatched!

4. Provide and be involved with the most appropriate educational and learning environments for your child from infancy on.

5. Keep in mind the feelings and needs of your spouse and your other children. Remind them that this child does not get more of your love just because she gets more of your time.

This can be especially challenging for those of us who have more than one child. In my experience, juggling the demands and needs of Taylor while also striking a balance with Paige's interests and activities represents another interesting dynamic in our family life. Making sure that Paige is not lost in the shadows or shuffle of Taylor's many doctor appointments and therapy appointments each week is a high priority for me, but admittedly it is also one that is very difficult to achieve.

6. Answer only to your conscience: then you'll be able to answer to your child. You need not justify your actions to your friends, the public or anyone else for that matter.

AMEN. Enough said. This 6th commandment is pretty liberating, eh?!

7. Be honest with your feelings. You can't be a super-parent 24 hours a day. Allow yourself jealousy, anger, pity, frustration, and depression in small amounts whenever necessary.

8. Be kind to yourself. Don't focus continually on what needs to be done. Remember to look at what you have already accomplished.

9. Stop and smell the roses. Take advantage of the fact that you have gained a special appreciation for the little miracles in life that many, many others take for granted.

10. Keep and use a sense of humor. Cracking up with laughter can keep you from cracking up from stress.

I would also submit that a good, hard run or rigorous work-out at the gym helps too!