Moms VS Dads

"Much of the value mothers and fathers bring to their children is due to the fact that mothers and fathers are different." - Dr. James Dobson

Moms versus dads...Who's really the better parent? This is a question that is being debated alot lately by the media, by feminists, by psychologists, by educators and by sociologists. In fact I've come across arguments that assert that dads are better while still other arguments insist that moms are better. I happen to believe that it is not a matter of mom versus dad at all, but rather it is a matter of the uniquely different contributions and distinct roles that each parent offers in the lives of their children. Call me a traditionalist, antiquated or old fashioned, but I really think it's just that simple.

Below is an article that argues that it is the differences in men and women, i.e. dads and moms, style of parenting, discipline, communication, play, etc. which ultimately benefit children. If you have time to read the paragraphs that follow, it's pretty interesting.

Being a parent and raising children is definitely one of the most gratifying jobs that there is but it is also one of the most difficult. The different parenting techniques that men and women have can vary widely. A significant difference in parenting styles can be one of the most difficult aspects of blending a family. Both adults arrive in the partnership with their own background, experiences, and different beliefs that they have associated with being a parent. However, is one type of parenting style a better way to raise a child? Is it better to be disciplinary and authoritative, or lenient and nurturing when it comes to raising children?

There are many parents who question the different ways that children are raised. Men and women do not always agree on the different parenting style that their significant other uses and have certain pet peeves about one another. For instance, men feel as though women are overprotective and too involved at times. They want women to be less controlling and less critical of their fathering style and instead be supportive and accepting. Fathers think that mothers worry too much about their children and parent with more intensity. They believe that women too often give tasks to their husbands such as what needs to be done and how they will go about doing it. They also feel neglected at times because women are too consumed with caring for their children that they sometimes put their relationship with the kids ahead of their relationship with their husbands. Fathers also believe that moms are too soft, nurturing, and tend to be peacemakers. For instance, when fathers try to discipline their children, mother tends to intervene rather than support the father. Fathers push limits while mothers encourage security.

When it comes to parenting, mothers display more affectionate behavior and discipline their children more than men do. They are more nurturing, comforting, caring, and emotionally involved. Mothers also pay more attention to children such as being more attentive to all of their sounds, expressions, and so on. They believe that fathers don’t spend enough time with their children and can sometimes be disengaged. They also believe that fathers try to push for more paid care when it is their turn to take care of the child. There is also an unfair distribution between chores. Women feel that they multi task a lot more than men do and take care of the children and house hold more, while men are more laid back.

Furthermore, one study shows that generally the most common family parenting styles are those in which both parents display the same style of parenting. Having two authoritative parents is associated with the most positive outcomes for children and adolescents http://faculty.virginia.edu/sexdifferences/article9.html. Whatever the differences in parenting may be, communication is key to resolving problems. It is important for moms and dads to present a “united front”.

The truth is that it is very important to receive father-love and mother-love because children need daily access to the different and complementary ways mothers and fathers parent. “Children need mom’s softness as well as dad’s roughhousing. Both provide security and confidence in their own ways by communicating love and physical intimacy.” http://www.family.org/socialissues/A000001142.cfm. Mothers and fathers parent differently, play differently, communicate differently, and discipline differently but these differences are essential for children. The differences in parenting techniques can by themselves be unhealthy. One style of parenting can promote risk without contemplation of consequences and another style can avoid risk, which can lead to a low independence, confidence, and progress level. However combining the two different parenting techniques will create a healthy and proper balance in the family.